My Personal Story & My Mission
As I share my story I do not do so to gain sympathy but Id like for you to picture my story as it could be a young impressionable child in your current life. THAT is the root of my mission!
As far back as I could remember I had always been “chubby little Cari.” Looking back as an adult I can see that it was meant to be endearing coming from my family. Though, I recall the embarrassment during these times. Once I began hearing similar things in elementary school, it seemed these comments were meant in a cruel manner. I was about 11 years old when my self image became absolutely horrendous. During the time I had become close friends with an individual that resided in a naturally very thin body. I often wondered why she and I would consume the same foods, yet I struggled so deeply with my weight and more importantly my body image. At this young age I could not come to terms with the fact that we are all built differently. Instead, my impressionable young mind only knew to compare. Maybe I was doing something wrong? Eating too much?
At the time I was fighting the biggest bully of all! The one inside my head. I began to deprive my body as what I thought was the solution to my “problem.” I lost so much weight within a short amount of time. My family was concerned and questioned why I would skip meals but eventually chalked it up to loosing my “baby weight.” After so much negative attention I began to eat somewhat normally until high school when the cycle started over. This time, because I was older, I began to experience very alarming symptoms such as; awful muscle cramps, insomnia and anxiety, brittle nails, thinking hair, abnormal body odor and constipation. I know TMI! But this is the nasty reality of depriving your body.
Fast forward through my teen pregnancies; I shifted my mindset placing my growing babies needs above my own, gratefully! The three years between my oldest and middle child was a time that became all too familiar. The vicious cycle, and frankly the only way I ever knew took over my life once AGAIN! This time it was worse than ever because I was also excessively exercising and became overly obsessed with my weight on the scale. Stepping onto the square surface on a daily basis, in literal tears over the number reflecting back to me. I was absolutely evil to myself on a daily basis! This time, this horrible disorder morphed into something a little different. It was a combination of deprivation and binging! Looking back now, the time is such a blur.
My wake up call: One day I went shopping with my mom ignoring a pain radiating within my stomach. As soon as we parked in the Target parking lot she knew I was in awful pain by the way I was folded over in my seat. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital for gallstones and an inflamed gallbladder which resulted in surgical removal. At the age of 19 mind you! It was a wake up call that my body had been effected from the years of destruction that all was a rooted from the terrible thoughts inside my head. Unfortunately when I was struggling I was unable to be aware of the ugly reality. Meaning I did not think I had a problem. I thought it was normal.
After my second pregnancy I knew there was no way I could go back to that toxic relationship with food and awful mindset but I had the desire to be healthy. I finally sought out professional help. I knew I needed to make a change for not only myself, but for my children! I simultaneously began to receive basic knowledge through coaching online where I connected with individuals from all over the United States. We hosted online fitness groups and web seminars for general information and peer support. Thereafter, I received multiple certifications in group training and personal training because I had the desire to spread my passion and be a positive representation of health.
Though, looking back at some of my old Facebook posts I cringe because although being healthy was/is important, I became a little too extreme by feeding into the fear mongering nutrition culture. I did so without doing my own research. I couldn’t eat Oreos(my favorite treat) without negative thoughts emerging regarding so called toxic ingredients. Negative emotions are NEVER to be associated with food!
Fast forward to now; I’m recertified as a personal trainer and nutrition coach. Throughout the years I’ve never stopped researching. My nutrition course and continuous research through PubMed have finally made things click! Coming to terms that overall nutrition and mental health is most important! All foods fit if you enjoy them.
My mission is to ensure that my children, nieces and nephews, young siblings, and any highly impressionable individuals surrounding never have to experience the agony I did for far too many years! Every single time I think about this specific part of what drives my passion, I can’t help but become emotional. If I could help ONE person in the process of spreading my knowledge, story, and passion it is all worth it! If my daughter or niece ever struggle with their weight and body image, my wish is that they would be confident coming to me for proper guidance. In the process aside from spreading awareness and knowledge, I practice self confidence and self love in front of my children because believe me when I say kids are sponges! Picking yourself apart in the mirror? They’ll criticize themselves too. Demonizing foods? They’ll partake in the same! Food for thought!
A couple facts: 30 million Americans struggle with eating disorders, which ranks the highest mortality rate in mental illness. And half of all Americans are uncomfortable in their own skin. It’s no way to live! Let’s make a change together!
Stay sustained out there!💪🏼
